I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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