For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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