Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .