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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.