the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.