I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
