I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
