...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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