at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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