They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize