You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
