I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
