I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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