I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize