First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
