you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They are going to name an STD after you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
