My room smells like vodka and shame
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
