5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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