I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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