I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Randomize