Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
