i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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