you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
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You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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