he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
