I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you didnt know i had herpes?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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