ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
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i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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