So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
