So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
