just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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