I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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