i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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