she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
