WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize