DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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