Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
