ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
