I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize