big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
