Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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