But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
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I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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