my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
