Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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