Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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