I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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