Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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