My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize