thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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