I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think im going to throw up on grandma
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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