And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
