the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
