if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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