You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize