you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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