My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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