rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
