my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
