You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
