Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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