New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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