I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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